Friday, November 27, 2009
Fake Palindromes.
Was trying not to panic a few days ago.
Not doing so currently,
but I'll just put this out there
for when it happens again soon.
It's three a.m,
I'm playing Second Life with Mark.
Monday, November 23, 2009
It just takes some time, little girl, you're in the middle of the ride.
About four weeks till term/christmas break.
Seven weeks till Mark leaves for California.
I want to be lame and quit my life now,
and commence fusion to my bed.
Losing that little bit of motivation I had
when the semester began.
Taking notice of 11:11 wishes again.
Can't fucking force myself forward some days.
I look at my life and think, god, it's going on... forever.
Then I think [I hope you don't think me silly/presumptuous]
of the short amount of time I'll have you for,
like fifty, sixty years?
God, that's devastatingly little.
Never give up,
never surrender!
Sunday, November 15, 2009
I'm on the verge, I'm on the verge.
Snixtyx at Home klubb hipster haven holaaa.
It was funny watching the hxckids there for the
previous band waiting patiently for
a breakdown [they actually asked Mark & Lawrs
before they started playing if there
were "any breakdowns at all? Small one?"]
so they could 2-step for ten seconds.
It's weird, the previous time I saw them play
was last year, before I ever knew any of them.
I think you'll find the pictures in the archives,
it was August and I had purple hair.
*
I'm kind of curious as to who reads this space.
What kind of person reads
Stay on My Side Tonight/I Want Your Lungs to Stop Working Without me?
Tell me about yourself.
Leave me a love note on the tagboard.
What do you eat for breakfast? What are your dreams?
Tell me your life story.
Also tell me if you even understand what I go on about here.
Not many people do.
Not many people care.
I like it that way,
but maybe you, somewhere out there, can relate.
Thursday, November 05, 2009
Nothing Came Out.
Two days of Amanda Fucking Palmer,
it was so surreal and very very fun.
It was a little hard to adjust back to Real Life
the next day.
I'm trying so hard not to get swamped by
all these deadlines,
trying to remain unfazed by the idea of
being a slave to some company for a
whole school semester,
gritting my teeth for that stupid grade.
All the while missing Mark when he goes off to
school and Fun Possibilities.
"Ugh I'm studying just so I can get into college
and study some more."
"I'm going to college so I can get a job
and work for the rest of my life."
As long as I have you,
all this shit can't be that bad.
Monday, October 26, 2009
Stop wearing your wishbone where your backbone ought to be.
Pull yourself up off the floor.
Life is hard but you have responsibility to yourself
to live and do and be.
To find that meaning.
Last night I was ready to decide that there wasn't any.
I forgot my defiance and sometimes I lose my way,
but damn it all, I will figure out my shit.
I will find my self.
*
Friday, October 16, 2009
The way it goes.
Remember almost four years ago?
We were all so fucking obnoxious and loud,
the weirdoes, mismatched and broken.
We were falling in love, we were angry,
we were scared, we were hopeful.
I don't want to go back, but some nights like this night,
[and last night, for a bit with Clara]
I like to revisit being 14 and on the edge of something.
I don't know what it was still,
but it was something crazy.
The beginning of growing up?
I thought I was so ready to take on the world.
I like to think there's still that other me,
existing there in the past.
I love all of you, then and now.
Friday, October 09, 2009
You'll never know but
Most nights, when we're tucked up in your sheets
and you're asleep,
I lie awake and miss you.
I'm in your arms,
you're mumbling in your sleep,
and when my mind finally gives in,
it's time to go home,
sleep alone.
We'll meet on the interweb or in person
or on some other astral plane,
and you'd kiss me goodnight,
tell me not to worry.
"I'm still here."
*
Heehee.
